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Random The Usual News from the Front Clash of the Tightest Redux Ask Dr. Buuz-Hund Drunkard of the Issue Wino Wisdom Top Drunks Dear Concerned Cad You Know You’re a Drunkard When… Clash of the Tightest Redux Adventures with Alcohol Rip Griffin Drinking Detective Helpful Hints for Hoochers Did You Know? Postcards from Skidrow Sections How-To History Interviews Icons Fiction Travel Podcasts Politics Film and Video True Adventure Creed Prohibitionists Biography Bar Culture Etiquette Poetry Investigative Booze Cocktails Spirits Beer Wine Top Hits Archives Drunkard Gear Sign in Welcome! Log into your account your username your password Forgot your password? Privacy Policy Password recovery Recover your password your email Search Contact FAQ Change of Address Chat Board Video Brutal Hammer Podcast Our Rich History Newsletter Shop SUBSCRIBE Sign in Welcome! Log into your account your username your password Forgot your password? Get help Privacy Policy Password recovery Recover your password your email A password will be e-mailed to you. Modern Drunkard Magazine Random The Usual News from the Front Clash of the Tightest Redux Ask Dr. Buuz-Hund Drunkard of the Issue Wino Wisdom Top Drunks Dear Concerned Cad You Know You’re a Drunkard When… Clash of the Tightest Redux Adventures with Alcohol Rip Griffin Drinking Detective Helpful Hints for Hoochers Did You Know? Postcards from Skidrow Sections How-To History Interviews Icons Fiction Travel Podcasts Politics Film and Video True Adventure Creed Prohibitionists Biography Bar Culture Etiquette Poetry Investigative Booze Cocktails Spirits Beer Wine Top Hits Here’s Why Champagne Is Fucking Overrated The Fire Inside: The Great Drunkards and What They Drank Dead End Drinks Welcome to BoozeTown 10 Best Things About Booze Archives Drunkard Gear Bout 5: Jim “Lizard King” Morrison Vs. Carson “Keep ‘Em Coming” McCullers Frank Kelly Rich - Sep 5, 2019 0 44 Secrets of Mixology Frank Kelly Rich - Jun 1, 2013 0 Sluice Your Gob Captain Grose - Jun 1, 2011 0 Everything I Ever Needed To Know About Life I Learned from the Rat... Frank Kelly Rich - Mar 1, 2004 0 Drunkard of the Issue Feb 05: Ryan “Nito” Negley Richard English - Feb 1, 2005 0 TODAY'S REASON TO DRINK On this day in 1935, Alcoholics Anonymous was founded by Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob Smith in Akron, Ohio. You know, a lot of people naturally think that this magazine is aligned against A.A., that we consider them enemies, but it isn’t true. The Friends of Bill, the purists anyway, are generally live-and-let-live types. It’s in their doctrine. They don’t hate drinkers and are generally willing to let us do our thing. And let’s face it, some people are terrible at drinking, they really can’t handle the lifestyle, and we sure as blazes don’t want them in the bar, dragging down our good time. I’d much rather have them at a meeting in a basement, smoking a cigarette and solemnly and grossly exaggerating their former drinking prowess. True story: On his deathbed, Mr Wilson is said to have demanded a drink, just one last one for the road, but those bedside, fearful of damaging his legacy, wouldn’t give him one. I mean, there he was, their dying king in repose, making one final request, and all the king’s horses and all the king’s men wouldn’t pour him a damn bourbon. FEATURES Articles Episode 13: Locked Down and Loaded with Frank and Nick Frank Kelly Rich - Apr 21, 2020 3 Your hosts: Frank Kelly Rich (Founder & Editor of MDM) and Nick Plumber (Poetry Editor for MDM). Special guest: The dreaded Wuhan Virus Featuring: All manner of... Top Drunks: Keith Moon Jon Tait - Jun 1, 2013 0 Wild-eyed and soaked, a naked young man breaks the surface of the swimming pool full of party debris—bottles, pool side chairs and an…er, Cadillac—gasps... Absinthe: The Return of the Green Faerie Frank Kelly Rich - Nov 1, 2002 0 “Ah! the Green Goddess! What is the fascination that makes her so adorable and so terrible?”—Aleister Crowley Absinthe arrived at its station as the toast... Drunkard of the Issue March 04: Padraig Tilbury Giles Humbert III - Mar 1, 2004 0 International Man of Leisure Padraig Dafydd Gudrun Tilbury explains the advantages of boozing with the Bulgarian mafia and mixing red wine with perfectly good... Urban Legends of Alcohol Frank Kelly Rich - Mar 1, 2003 0 THE RUMOR Workers at the Corona brewery in Mexico urinate in the beer vats. False. This persistent rumor started in the mid-1980s and spread like... Muskets and Moonshine: The Whiskey Rebellion of 1794 Richard English - Jun 1, 2006 0 When you get right down to it, we drunkards are a pretty easy-going bunch. Our needs are not excessive. Give us a glass of whiskey... Drunkards of the Issue April 02: Brethren Fast Racing Team Luke Schmaltz - Apr 1, 2002 0 You put out an album called 500 Laps Of Beer Drinking Fun and people are going to start thinking you like the stuff. Mik... The Art Of The Shot Frank Kelly Rich - Sep 1, 2005 0 "Let’s do a shot." Are there four words in the drunkard’s vocabulary more heartening than those? Four simple words, yet so packed with drama and... Space, the Wino Frontier: Drinking on Star Trek Frank Kelly Rich - May 1, 2002 0 Make no mistake— Captain Kirk and his crew were cowboys and they treated the universe like the Wild West. There was always a lot of... Secrets of the Broken Man Bender Luke Schmaltz - Oct 1, 2002 0 Broke your leg? Don’t sit there feeling sorry for yourself—hobble your way to free drinks! You hurt yourself. Bad. So bad you can’t work, can’t... Watch Me As I Fall Sam Austin - Feb 1, 2006 0 Leering men, sweaty and bloated, shoved bills at her. I hated them. They didn't deserve to look at her, to throw money at her. She... Boozer Madness! Frank Kelly Rich - May 1, 2003 0 The mouse who roared Well . . . maybe he is a twit. He certainly looks like an asshole. That’s the beauty of alcohol, giving... Dive Bar Confidential Frank Kelly Rich - Sep 5, 2019 0 “You’re only as good as the bars they let you drink in.” I don’t remember who muttered those words, or in what dive, or how... Strange Brews: Natty Light Bryan Dent - Dec 10, 2015 0 “Natty” (or “Unnatural Light,” as it’s also called) has long been the unofficial beer of students and the cash-strapped everywhere. As the market analysts say,... Why I Drink Frank Kelly Rich - Jul 1, 2003 0 I drink because I have a gambling problem. Yes, I drink. I’m a drinker. There are many reasons. Do any of them matter? Not really.... The Lush Lexicon: Buzz Words for Booze Heads Frank Kelly Rich - Jul 1, 2002 0 “Hey, slop jaw, quit boozgarting the felony juice so we can finish frontloading and get our fade on.” Confused? You should be. Bar slang is... Columns and Regular Features News from the Front: The Reverse Metamorphosis of a Dive Ask Dr. Buuz-Hund #62 Modern Drunk Art #62 Helpful Hints for Hoochers: When the Cops Show Up at Your Party Modern Drunk Art #62B: The Bottle Under the Sink Postcards from Skid Row #62 Wino Wisdom: Issue 62 Modern Drunkard Video Nixing the Twist: The Four Rules May 25, 2015 Nixing the Twist: Swimming with Sharks May 25, 2015 Modern Drunkard on Jeopardy May 25, 2015 Booze-Soaked Fiction A Sot’s Fables: The Tortoise and the Hare Jul 1, 2002 Rip Griffin, Drinking Detective: The Case of the Missing Worm Aug 1, 2005 King For A Day Sep 1, 2005 Adventures with Alcohol Konyagi: Tears of the Lion Aug 30, 2017 In Dry Dubai They Call Me Guinness Tester! Aug 30, 2017 Inebriated In Iran Jun 1, 2006 All the Pretty Pictures Did You Know? 59 May 16, 2015 The Best Time We’ll Never Remember: Scenes from the 2005 MDM... Jul 17, 2005 Did You Know? 57 Jun 16, 2012 How To Articles Xmas Shopping for Winos Sep 1, 2006 The Six Circles of Hangover Hell Aug 1, 2005 The 86 Rules of Boozing: Rule 66 May 25, 2015 Drunkards of the Issue Drunkard of the Issue Sept 03: David Sipos Sep 1, 2003 Drunkard of the Issue Oct 05: Boyd Rice Sep 1, 2005 Drunkard of the Issue #53: Kevin Carpenter Jun 1, 2008 Inebriate Interviews 26 Questions with Doug Stanhope Se...